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Audio 綾倉盟 - Revive - (4.50MB - 128 kbps - 44.1 kHz , 07_ 綾倉盟 - Revive.mp3 ) Length: 4:55
12607 No. 12607 Locked edit hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
Previous Thread: >>12261
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXVMRPvUalo
(Until sound upload actually works)

Last edited at 13/08/19(Mon)22:16:01
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>> No. 13199 edit
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13199
>>13195
Great job Squitcher, I wouldn't call it a failure though. You can think of it by mere chance that you chose a less-than satisfactory opponent, so I thank you for bearing with my long absences. The set up was great, probably what got me hooked. And everything came together nicely. The turn out during the heated parts of the actual gameplay were exciting, the how-dunnit trick was fresh and deserving of its title, albeit hard to pinpoint with all the semantics involved with two keys at once. The RP game really was a godsend though, I don't think it would be possible to have the right mindset without it, so I thank you for setting up that. The who-dunnit was a little less clear, but after reading it makes sense. I think I was just tunnel-visioned with Kanon and Shannon as possible suspects for too long. I mean, they had the damn master keys, so that should have been plain and clear that they're not involved with another key. The part about Rudolf being the obvious accomplice did come to mind, but for some reason I was just caught up in minor details of pronouns labeling the culprit male. All in all, this was really entertaining over the summer and I hope the experience didn't make you drop /gameboard/ altogether, because I know this had quite the opposite effect on me (When I was less fustrated anyway). Hopefully, I can one day make something near as thought provoking as this gameboard was, either as another game here or some other medium.

Anyway, I'm just really happy this game is over now, even if it's not the best outcome. Hope you didn't get the wrong impression that I didn't enjoy it with my melodramatic responses. You did good.

May it rest in peace...

Last edited at 13/09/15(Sun)17:06:57
>> No. 13202 edit
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13202
>gameboard
>not female culprit
>2013
>> No. 13206 edit
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13206
>>13202
>He then came back, put the new, useless roman numeral key 1 on Kruass's corpse
>He then came back,
>He

Last edited at 13/09/15(Sun)16:59:26
>> No. 13245 edit
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13245
>>13199
Always undermining yourself Camphor. I wouldn't consider you less than satisfactory. As I said, I consider you to have been at least a decent detective. Your skills are not the problem, just the dragging out of the game itself was.

Anyway, thanks. If you got that much out of this messy creation, then I'll simply be happy.
Now, this experience actually makes me want to create more gameboard to fill the frustration left behind, but I'm afraid classes won't let that happen that easily.
But it's not out of the question neither.

>>13202
Thanks anon. I hope if there is ever a next one, such a problem won't occur again.

>>13206
Follow through, Rudolf did.
Kyrie was in the parlor. Rudolf entirely took care of the 1st paradox by himself.


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12950 No. 12950 Locked edit hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
First thread: http://www.seacats.net/gameboard/res/12655.html

---

You enter the parlor. Inside are Ange, Maria, Shannon, and Leon. They seem to be watching some show called Princess Sarah.

"Ozaki-san, Jessica-san," Leon acknowledges your presence.
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>> No. 13163 edit
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13163
"Ozaki-kun!"

Leon rushes into you with her shoulder. You can't help but tumble over due to her vastly superior strength. In her hands, she inexplicably has her own rifle! Where did it come from?

Leon points her gun in the window and fires. "Damn! Wait, what the hell--"

A bullet returns at Leon and knocks her backwards. Jessica screams into the night.

You faintly hear sets of footsteps disappear in the main hall.

Last edited at 13/09/15(Sun)13:39:04
>> No. 13164 edit
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13164
>>13163
I check on Leon.
>> No. 13165 edit
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13165
It looks like Leon was hit directly by the bullet. In her rush to protect you, she didn't even take proper cover. The bullet pierces straight into her stomach.

"Ozaki-kun..."

"Leon!" Jessica yells. "Stop! You can't die. Don't do this, don't!"
>> No. 13168 edit
Third Thread: >>13166


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12655 No. 12655 Locked edit hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
'Messy pacing.'

'Distracting grammatical elements.'

'Too many characters.'


The Witch of Certainty, Labdadelta, glanced disinterestedly around the sheets of papers floating around her. Even though the work was best suited for a desk jockey, she had been assigned to organize and respond to complaints sent about the Golden Witch's last game.

Most witches considered Beatrice's tale a high success. To them, it was one of the most pleasant ways to alleviate their constant and aching boredom. Some had even duplicated the game board to the best of their abilities to instill all kinds of horrors on Battler's poor family. Still, a few witches wouldn't be pleased no matter what. They attacked the story's poor characterization of some of Rokkenjima's adults, the unbearably slow beginning, and its unwillingness to reveal direct answers with the audience that spent so many hours trying to solve it.

In response, Lamda had taken to stamping a stock reply and shipping the message back to its sender. The message featured an apology for their unsatisfactory experience and offered a coupon. More and more messages gathered around her still.

The young witch sighed and leaned back, hovering just a few inches above the ground. She knew this job was given to her because of her intimate knowledge of the situation, but it wasn't fair! She couldn't even find Battler to try to push the work on him. The last she heard, the Golden Sorcerer was creating some kind of game for his sister. Lambda had even lost track of Bern in the infinite kakeras.

What could she be doing right now? She probably found something to preoccupy herself with. Lambda could follow Bernkastel around different fragments for centuries without getting the least bit bored. But, as time went on, it seemed like Bern was truly getting tired of the chase. Even Lambda's most creative attempts at soy sauce-related torture barely earned a reaction. Lambda couldn't help but wonder, did her own attempts to capture Bern come across the same way as the endless amount of complaints and annoyances ar
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>> No. 12947 edit
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12947
>>12946
"Ah no worries, I'm used to that sort of thing."

"Speaking of which did something happen between Rudolf and Battler? Not only is Eva giving me the stink eye but I feel completely out of the loop now."
>> No. 12948 edit
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12948
"Yeah. Battler's mom died years ago. Right after she died, Rudolf married Kyrie. That pissed Battler off-- I mean, could you imagine? He stopped coming to the island altogether about five years ago. The way I've heard it, he's been living with his grandparents ever since."

Jessica pauses, letting you absorb the information.

"He's probably fine. Battler always played idiotic jokes like this. He kind of resembles Grandfather in that way, y'know? Everyone always talks about Grandfather like he's this big, tyrannical figure living over us like God, but I remember when he was healthy. He was a big ol' softy! What about you, Ozaki-kun? Any family?"

Last edited at 13/09/09(Mon)19:54:45
>> No. 12949 edit
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12949
>>12948
"Ah that must be rough for him...

Thinking back to my canon history I shudder.

"Well my relatives have all past away at this point. Not much else to say about it."

If we aren't already I guess I'll start walking to the parlor and see who is all there.
>> No. 12952 edit
Second Thread: >>12950


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12871 No. 12871 Locked edit hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Last 50 posts]
Hello, my name is Kinzo-Shannon and you must be Akihiko, but it doesn't matter.
I am but a humble furniture to my lady Beatrice-sama and it is my awesome responsibility to guide you through the introduction of her eeriness' masterpiece.
Thou art to use blue truth to provide thy miserable theories, my lady shall use the red truth which is the most awesome and absolute truth of all.
Thou must explain twilights when those end and explain them with human tricks.
Thou shan't control any pieces, but thou can trust Battler eyes, because the truth is what they see, also thou can search the room and search the bodies.
On Rokkenjima there art 18 humans, which art Battler, George, Jessica, Maria, Kyrie, Rudolf, Rosa, Natsuhi, Krauss, Shannon, Kanon, Kumasawa, Genji, Gohda, Eva, Hideyoshi, Doctor Nanjo and Kinzo.
All Knoxes apply except for 5th, because there art no stereotypical minorities on Rokkenjima, also hidden passages art only those which the detective cannot find, if he searches.


Well then, shall we commence?

Last edited at 13/08/30(Fri)12:42:02
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>> No. 12923 edit
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12923
Just in case, repeat in red "The door and the windows of the study are locked from the inside."

The culprit could've been outside the study when he killed Kinzo.
>> No. 12924 edit
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12924
The door and the windows of the study are locked from the inside.
It is impossible for the culprit to kill Kinzo from outside of the study.


Last edited at 13/08/31(Sat)09:28:35
>> No. 12925 edit
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12925
The culprit killed Kinzo inside the study then placed something like a chair for example and closed the door, with that the culprit managed to lock the door from the inside.
If you try to deny that it was the culprit who locked the door from the inside using an object then it could've been anyone, an accomplice or even someone who was scared of revealing Kinzo's death.
>> No. 12926 edit
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12926
It is impossible to block the door with any object from the inside and leave the room.


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12367 No. 12367 Locked edit hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
My latest mystery VN is available for download!

http://detectivebutler.weebly.com/downloads.html

As usual, feel free to use this thread to post any comments.
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>> No. 12439 edit
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12439
>>12367
Hi, finally got around to starting this up. I only had time to play up to the part where Butler gets knocked out in chapter 3, but I'm really enjoying it so far! It all feels really professional and polished, and you've obviously put a ton of work into it. Even the little things like the menu screens are designed in a really appealing way.

The plot and characters seem pretty interesting too; though obviously most of them haven't had much screentime yet, I really like Gilligan's characterisation in particular. I'll be sure to come back and give my full thoughts when I'm finished, though I'm not sure when that will be since I don't have that much free time right now.

Well done for finally getting it released, anyway! I know you've spent a lot of time and effort on it, so really, congratulations~
>> No. 12927 edit
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12927
This really took me a lot longer than it should have. I apologise for the ridiculous length of this post, but I'm sure you appreciate detailed feedback, right?

I know from your blog that you value honesty in reviews of your work, so I'm not going to hold back here, but keep in mind that I did enjoy a lot of things about it. The ending parts definitely left a bad taste in my mouth, though.

General opinions

I'll start off by saying that the first half of the game (the part before the murder happens) is undoubtedly the most polished and enjoyable. The beginning has a very leisurely pace to it, and reads a little like Umineko EP1's introduction - and that's fine. The atmosphere was well-done, the dialogue felt natural and flowed nicely, and it served as a perfectly good way to get introduced to the characters. It's a very well-done build-up, and it was very clear that a lot of time had been spent on getting the feel just right.

But from the point the murder happens, the pacing just seems to accelerate to a point where it's difficult to really take anything in, and we lose the smooth flow of the first section.
The initial investigation and discussion about the murder is fairly good, but mostly seems a bit dry and lacking in character (though Butler's antics help that a little). There are also a few really awkward parts of conversations that really should have been proofread more carefully (like where Gilligan spontaneously changes his attitude towards the closed room three times in a matter of minutes, going from undecided to convinced he's solved it to completely hopeless without any obvious trigger), and overall the dialogue just didn't flow as naturally as it did in the beginning, especially with the bizarre way Cecila was acting when she came to try and 'console' Gilligan. But it was still passable.

The very end parts, starting from the discovery of the will, were...quite obviously extremely rushed, unfortunately. I assume you were just rushing to finally get the ga
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>> No. 12928 edit
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12928
>>12927
Alright, uh, where should I even begin...? Well, thank you for playing, and I'm glad you liked it as much as you did. And I also want to start off by saying that I really could've used your help during beta testing. So if you're willing to help me for EP2, I'd be very happy to have you.

I don't find it surprising at all why you found the first half to be significantly better than the second half. The first half was pretty much set in stone and was only fine-tuned later on, primarily to develop the characters, as you noticed. The latter half, which consisted entirely of investigations, was heavily rewritten. Entire scenes were written and then thrown away because we decided to change the mystery around, and it happened so many times that undoubtedly it would seem sloppily put together. I accept that as a main flaw of poor planning on the outset.

I do find it interesting that your favorite scene was Butler and Gilligan's talk on the deck in chapter 2. I've had others complain about how over-emotional that scene was that it was "jarring", so I guess it goes to show that some people just have different tastes.

However, everyone does seem to agree that the ending was horribly rushed and is the worst part of the VN. And they would be right. The more comments I receive , the more I realize that I should've had testers take a closer look at chapter 10. But I think the main issue was a lack of clarity in conveying the theme of the story, which you picked up on. Blythe hadn't planned everything out before going on the boat, and if that's what I happened to convey, then that's my fault entirely. What should have been conveyed was that Blythe was not sorry for killing him, and when given the opportunity that night, she willfully killed him.

As for Captain Jack, he quickly found out about Blythe. However, Jack also had something to lose if anyone found
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>> No. 12929 edit
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12929
>>12928
Regarding Blythe's dialogue at the ending, it does seem a little better knowing that the decision to murder was still spontaneous and not planned, but it still definitely feels a little off. I'm particularly concerned with the line, "I'd wanted to kill him for soooo loooong, I thought I'd never get the chance!" There just wasn't really anything presented to explain why she would have had such a deep-seated and profound resentment of him for all that time. I think it makes much more sense if she only wanted him dead after he decided to make Eliza the CEO.

But I had more of an issue with her random personality change than the implication of premeditation. The whole game up until that point made her seem like an extremely calm and collected individual, so the sudden shift to the crazy laughing maniac really came out of nowhere. I actually think her scene with Gilligan at the end would have more impact if she had stayed completely cold and detached throughout, just calmly saying something like "Yeah, I meant to kill him. And I don't regret it. You got a problem with that?" And then logically laying out the reasons why he was a failure of a father and a CEO, and how he made the wrong decision in choosing Eliza as the successor, etc. That way, Gilligan's horrified reaction could be due to her complete lack of compassion and to how she judges the value and worth of a human's life in the same cold and calculating way that she treats her financial work. Some of what Gilligan says at the end even seems to be heading this way already, but it's weakened by the way that Blythe randomly starts acting in a totally maniacal, impassioned and emotional state at the end instead of a cold and ruthless one.

As for Jack, I still feel like I'm missing the connection here? I don't see how framing Cecila for the crime helps him to hide the will; any investigation to the cri
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