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>Why would you value your appearance if you're a shut in?
What is a “mirror”?
>Plus, above all else?
Above most else. There's still things I value above my perfect handsome face, such as my life, or my computer.
But yes, I did used to ask myself that question a lot until fairly recently. “Why am I so obsessed with always looking my best, when nobody besides me is going to see me anyway?” Turns out it's a combination of mild obsessive-compulsive behaviours, and me loving looking at my own face in the mirror even more than I enjoy fapping.
>I'd have to fake a psychotic episode first.
Well, I guess that might work too. You'd just need to be a damn good actor to pull that off.